Hi Pablo,
By the authority vested in me by absolutely nobody, I hereby appoint you:
MINISTER OF SALAD, Department of Crunchy Affairs.
Your duties:
1) declare a national holiday when lettuce looks like Monday;
2) audit the cucumber (it always has ulterior motives);
3) establish limits for the carrot — it thinks it's the influencer of the plate.
Uniform: suit, tie, and a kale leaf in the pocket (for philosophical emergencies).
If you refuse, the job goes to a tomato that speaks Latin. I've interviewed it. Do not recommend.
Stamped in vegetables,
Zé das Couves